Undiscovered Autism in Women leads to loss of Quality of Life, loneliness, social isolation, and increased risk of adult Meltdowns. Get more info here.
Undiscovered Autism in Women leads to loss of Quality of Life, loneliness, social isolation, and increased risk of adult Meltdowns. Get more info here.
Meltdown is defined as an intense response to an overwhelming situation. It happens when someone becomes completely overwhelmed by their current situation and temporarily loses control of their behaviour. This loss of control can be expressed verbally (eg shouting, screaming, crying), physically (eg kicking, lashing out, biting) or in both ways.
A meltdown is not the same as a temper tantrum. It is not bad or naughty behaviour. When a person is completely overwhelmed, and their condition means it is difficult to express that in another way, it is understandable that the result is a meltdown.
Meltdowns are not the only way an autistic person may express feeling overwhelmed. They may also refuse to interact, withdrawing from situations they find challenging or avoiding them altogether.
[...] Parents of children with neurodevelopmental disorders, especially autism spectrum disorders and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, experience the natural stressors of childrearing while also experiencing additional stressors relating to raising a child with unique support needs. Caring for a child with a neurodevelopmental disorder typically requires more time than caring for a typically developing child , as the care-giver needs to learn and adapt to the child’s unique sup-port needs. For example, time is restricted as children with neurodevelopmental disorders often have more medical and service appointments to attend in comparison to typically developing children. Many parents also state that finding a childcare provider is difficult. When childcare is found, providers may not have the required training to deal with the unique support needs associated with caring for a child with exceptional needs, leaving parents with fewer external supports. Research continues to show that mothers take on the majority of the caregiving responsibilities, especially in cases where the child is diagnosed with a disability. In turn, mothers tend to experience poorer mental health out-comes in comparison to fathers. [...] (Romaniuk et.al., 2022)
In our Facebook Community, ADDspeaker, we’ve done our own research since 2018. We bagan doing so, since we had trouble finding knowledge and ressources available which focused on the needs of women with [undiscovered] Autism/ADHD, so I decided to dig deep into the scientific evidence to find the insight we longed for.
Sadly, we did find lots of publications that focused on the children with these disorders, on the societal consequences of families with these disorders, and of course, loads of publications where the researcher found amble grounds for demonstrating the negative effects for ‘families like that’.
Furthermore, I found that many mothers of newly diagnosed children, in an overwhelmingly number of cases, had trouble with the fathers of these children, being scorned for being ‘too soft’ or ‘to emotional’ and the like, while the fathers often just wanted to ‘lay down the law’ and impose strict rules for the child to follow,
This mismatch in understanding the core issues concerning raising children with Autism/ADHD often led to increased unhappiness in the parents relationship, causing upwards of 1/4 ending in divorce.
[...] Parents of children with an ASD had a higher rate of divorce than the comparison group (23.5% vs. 13.8%). The rate of divorce remained high throughout the son/daughter’s childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood for parents of children with an ASD, whereas it decreased following the son/daughter’s childhood (after about age 8 years) in the comparison group. Younger maternal age when the son/daughter with ASD was born and having the son/daughter born later in the birth order were positively predictive of divorce for parents of children with an ASD. [...] (Hartley et al., 2010)
The saddest part is, that during all this going on, 85% of the women I’ve tested (200+) who participated in our research from 2018 to 2022, showed symptoms of Autism which where above clinical cutoff on the Systemizer Test (based Baron-Cohen’s research, developed by Kirsten Callesen).
Furthermore, in the MMPI-2-RF test, (participants n= 100, 85% women, 25-64 yrs.) the analysis showed that 45-50% had Negative Affectivity (e.g., anhedonia, dysfunctional negative emotions, and poor health), and 50% suffered from Gastrointestinale problems, Neurologic disturbances, or Headaches, all indicators of prolonged chronic levels of stress.
When we looked at their mental well-being, 63% suffered from Hyperarousal, 52% struggled with Self-Efficacy issues, 30-40% with Anxiety and Phobias, and saddest of all 35% suffered from Suicidal Ideations. Interestingly, only 10% suffered from Anger related issues … suggesting that these women turn their troubles inwards, bottling it all in.
In matters of social engagement, 62% suffered from Social Anxiety, while 30-36% suffered from Loneliness-related conditions e.g., Shyness and Asocialty. Furthermore, 30% reported to have Family Problems.
Looking at compounding issues from childhood, almost 30% had clinical sign of childhood sexual abuse (determined by an algorithm within the test, not direct participant reporting, making it more representatively accurate), and 96% had low Self-Confidence, 77% suffered from Shame, while 30% scored above cutoff on the Social Isolation scale.
Interpersonal relationships were also heavily influenced. Interestingly, 22-28% scored above cutoff on the Paraphilia and BDSM scales (0% on Pedophelia), which at first glance may seem counterintuitive, but makes sense when you take into account, that both these activities includes elements of control, predictability, and role-playing, all things that might alleviate traumas from the past.
Undiscovered Autism in Women lead to loneliness, social isolation, depression, and finally stress-induced Meltdowns, often (mis)understood as ‘typical feminine hysteria’, with all the blame being put on the women, regardless of context. So, no these women are not Batshit-Crazy! But they are overwhelmingly being forced into situations where there undiagnosed Autism causes them to feel overwhelmed, sensorily as well as emotionally. This is turn escalates into full-blown attacks of Adult Meltdowns, or even worse into Self-harm or Suicide. On top of all this ‘happy news’, scientific evidence shows, that these women are in high risk of being victimized (60% risk of sexual assaults) by Intimate Partner Violence, leaving 24% scoring above cutoff for a clinical diagnosis for ComplexPTSD.
Hartley, S. L., Barker, E. T., Seltzer, M. M., Floyd, F., Greenberg, J., Orsmond, G., & Bolt, D. (2010). The relative risk and timing of divorce in families of children with an autism spectrum disorder. Journal of family psychology : JFP : journal of the Division of Family Psychology of the American Psychological Association (Division 43), 24(4), 449–457. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0019847
Romaniuk, A., Ward, M., Henrikson, B., Cochrane, K., & Theule, J. (2022). Family Quality of Life Perceived by Mothers of Children with ASD and ADHD. Child psychiatry and human development, 1–10. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-022-01422-8
ADDspeaker Research Project (2022), Research: Ny dansk undersøgelse af voksne med ADHD og Autisme! (addspeaker.net),
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